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Running away

Why was it always Boralis? In the space of a week she'd attacked him twice. No matter how much she tried to claim she was under magical influence both times, she still picked him. Forgiveness may be a virtue, but she was starting to suspect that there was a lingering problem with his actions of the previous autumn. When he was obviously suffering with what he had done she could be the voice of reason, but somewhere in the back of her head was Solustaran's voice, one day he will think that it doesn't matter. That very evening he had told her that he was important and in good standing with the Mages Guild, was it perhaps a reaction to that? Did she she believe, somewhere deep down, that he didn't have the right to that kind of conceit, mass murderer that he was? Was she only willing to defend his actions when he showed open remorse, and did she feel that it was some sort of betrayal of those who died if he ever experianced anything other than utter dejection? Was that why she kept being moved to violence against him, everytime magic interferred with her thought process? She had a lot of questions, and a lot of time to think on them as she sat in prayer through the night. No answers were forthcoming from the Lady. Of course the other option was that she was losing her grip on her patience, being pregant was playing havoc with her emotions. Maybe she had never really changed, the last 68 years had been some sort of fraud, and finally she was cracking, reverting back to old practices, hit first, ask questions later. Or maybe it was the Guild, and they brought out the worst in her. Whatever the cause, she had to get away from the Guild. There was Nortroll, but she was reaching the stage in the pregnancy where she was going to have to step down from duties that might get her hurt, as injury to the child would be harder to heal. A month in Nortroll, then she'd go home. After all she had to face her Grandmother at somepoint. That should count as a large amount of penance. Some space to calm down, without any pressure, find her centre again. Think. She knew that the Guild stirred her passions, made her more prone to outbursts of anger. Maybe it was time to face the fact that it put her in a position to harm others. She would have to come back to Aberddu, she couldn't just take the child away from its father, but, if she was honest she didn't want to return. The people of Aberddu were no longer half starved and subject to the warring factions of Frisia and Albion. They didn't need her. The people of Nortroll did, and would for some time to come, even if they did defeat thie disease that was running rampent. Maybe that was the course she should follow. She might feel more content if she could follow her calling again. Nortroll, the Elven Forest, back to Aberddu for the birth, then Nortroll. Maybe if she could get some form of portal item she wouldn't feel like she was stealing their child.